Before I had kids, I will admit that it drove me crazy whenever I attended a wedding and there were children invited. Let's face it - kids are, by nature, messy, noisy, and mischievous. Not always the best combination for an elegant affair.
However, now that I have kids, I feel a little differently. I love dressing my kids up for weddings! I love the way my daughter is completely enchanted by the "fancy dresses" and the "fancy decorating", in her words. My son squirms in his little suit, and tugs at his tie, and torments the flower girls.
Truly, it is up to each couple to decide whether to invite children to their wedding. I usually caution my clients to consider several factors before deciding:
1: the location. Is there somewhere for the kids to play? Do not expect them to sit quietly with their parents the entire time. Won't happen!
2: the food. Speak with the chef, and arrange to have the appropriate number of "kids meals" made up. Often if you tell the venue ahead of time the number of children attending, they will charge you 25-50% less for their meals.
3: the entertainment. This can be something as small and inexpensive as providing colouring books and crayons to each child or as ambitious as renting a bouncy-house (if the location has room and allows it!).
One of our recent clients was faced with this very dilemma - with a fair amount of children expected to attend the wedding, she wanted to make sure that a) the kids had a great time and b) the parents were able to have a great time. So, Lavish arranged for a separate area to be used as the kids area - aka "Wonderland". We brought in 2 Nannies for the day, rented a bouncy house, and ensured that there were plenty of snacks, crafts, movies and games for all of the kids. Once the dinner and dance were underway, the parents were free to enjoy the reception, while the kids had a great time in their own area, under the careful supervision of the nannies. The nannies were able to keep in touch with Lavish staff via 2-way radios, ensuring that a line of communication was always open in case one of the children needed their parents or vice versa.
It was, needless to say, a huge hit.
Moral of the story? If you're going to invite kids, make sure you include them in your planning.
On the flip side - if you choose NOT to invite any children, make sure that you make it clear on the invitation. Addressing the invitation to "the Smith Family" indicates that you are inviting the WHOLE family. "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" on the other hand, is more clearly indicative of an adult party.
Having said that - I find that it is best to personally phone any guest with children and let them know your wishes. This prevents any surprises and misunderstandings.

